there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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