Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
