My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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