bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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