Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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