the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
