I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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