If i come over, it means nothing
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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