That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
