I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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