Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
