also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
