We won't sleep together?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
