The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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