Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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