In the future we'll all be gay
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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