This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
