dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
