i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he shaved USA in his pubs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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