So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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