He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
