summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
