morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
