Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
