True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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