I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
