The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
