Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
