I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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