so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
