Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize