I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
