I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
