awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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