Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
