This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
now i know why i became what i already was.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
