I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize