Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
