At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Please don't give away my fajitas
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