Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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