If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
