Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
