She's JV to your varsity
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
