I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
