How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
