I didn't shave. On purpose
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
