; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
