Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have so many feelings about this burrito
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
