we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My bed smells like the plague
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
