it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
