I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
