I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh god was she eating orange peels again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
