I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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