never play flip cup with pint glasses
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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