Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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