is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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