if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Found your dick twin last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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