if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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