so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize