So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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