I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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