I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
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