I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
