it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is Oprah even human
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
