fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
