Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
